In India’s diverse tapestry, single parenting is becoming more common. It’s like embarking on a journey filled with challenges and rewards. With around 7.5% of households in India led by single parents, with mostly Single Mothers, as per a UN survey, it is clear there is a pressing need for guidance tailored for these brave guardians. This guide aims to shine a light on “single parenting in India,” offering practical solutions and valuable insights to help single parents.
Single parenting means being both Mother and Father to your child, because of various reasons like Divorce, Death of any Spouse, separation, or by choice. This journey involves balancing the emotional and developmental needs of the kids with financial duties and social expectations, all on one’s own.
Challenges of Single Parenting in India
The challenges of single parenting in India are multi-faceted, ranging from financial constraints to societal pressures. Let’s break them down into the following Terms:
Financial Pressure
Imagine trying to drive two cars at once. As a single parent, you’re the only one bringing money home, but the expenses—like food, rent, and school fees—are the same as they would be for two parents. This can make money matters stressful because you have to stretch your single income to cover everything your family needs.
Societal Judgment
In many places, including India, people have strong opinions about what families should look like. Single parents, and single moms in particular, often find themselves under a microscope. Neighbours, relatives, and even strangers might whisper or judge, making single parents feel like they’re constantly being watched and critiqued. This kind of pressure can be really hard on your feelings and self-esteem.
Finding Childcare
For single parents, having someone reliable to watch their kids while they work is crucial. But good childcare isn’t always easy to come by, especially if you’re looking for options that don’t break the bank. This can be a big worry, especially when you need to work to provide for your family.
School Support
Kids from single-parent families are just like any other kids, but sometimes they need a bit extra, maybe more understanding or flexibility from their school. Finding schools that get this and are willing to offer that support can be challenging. Schools need to help out, like by understanding a child’s unique family situation or offering resources that can help.
Legal Stuff
Things like figuring out custody (who the child lives with) and alimony (financial support from an ex-partner) can get complicated. Single parents might have to navigate the court system, deal with lawyers, and fight for their rights and their children’s rights. This process can be draining, both emotionally and financially.
Real-Life Example of Single Parenting In India
Neelam Shekhawat got married in 2012. Just like any girl, she had many hopes and dreams with her life partner and their future together. Everything was going fine, but one day, suddenly, her husband hit her over some issue. Neelam was deeply hurt and shocked by his actions. Despite feeling humiliated, she chose not to tell anyone because of societal shame.
However, things started to get worse over time. Her in-laws were not kind to her at all. They would scold her or insult her over trivial matters. Her husband’s behaviour was unpredictable; sometimes he was fine, but at other times, he would lose his temper and hit her.
During her first pregnancy, Neelam gave birth to a baby girl. Her in-laws and her husband were very upset that it wasn’t a boy. There’s a strong preference for male children in India, and everyone seems to want a son. After the birth of her daughter, her in-laws kicked her out of the house after a fight.
With a heavy heart, Neelam went back to her parents’ home. A few days later, her husband came to apologize and took her back home. Everyone thought things would get better now. But after a few months, the fighting, arguments, and physical abuse started again, and she was thrown out of the house once more.
This time, Neelam even attempted suicide but then found out she was pregnant again. She decided to keep the baby. Her parents took legal action against her husband and in-laws. Despite being pregnant, Neelam had to attend court dates and fight her case.
She gave birth to a son this time. Everyone thought her in-laws might be happy, but instead, they filed for divorce. Now, Neelam was completely alone, with two children to care for. Her parents supported her for many years, but Neelam decided she didn’t want to be a burden on them anymore.
Fighting societal judgment, she first found a job for herself. People would say it was Neelam’s fault for separating from her husband and that women shouldn’t work. But Neelam proved them all wrong. Firstly she got a divorce and kept custody of her children by herself. Then In a very short period, she earned promotions at her job. She raised her kids perfectly on her own.
Today in 2024, she holds a respectable position at Bajaj Finance in Bikaner. Her children are studying in top schools in Bikaner, and she manages all their expenses comfortably. Some kind people in society, including her employer, helped her. When Neelam was at work, she would keep her children in a house behind her office, where sometimes her colleagues or boss would look after them.
Neelam is also going to start her own business, which will be the biggest clothing startup in Bikaner. She achieved all this while being a single mother.
5 Unique Strategies to Overcome Challenges in Single Parenting in India
Strategy 1: Create a Strong Support Network
A big step in overcoming the challenges of single parenting in India is to build a strong support network. This includes family, friends, and other single parents who can offer help, emotional support, and advice. Joining single parenting groups, whether in your community or online, can offer a space to share experiences and find common solutions. Knowing you’re not alone in this can make a huge difference.
Strategy 2: Master Financial Planning
Single parents in India often face the challenge of managing finances on a single income. It’s crucial to put together a solid financial plan. This means setting a realistic budget, saving for emergencies, and planning for your child’s education. Getting professional financial advice can also help, offering strategies for investing, insurance, and maximizing your income. Looking into government schemes and grants for single parents can provide extra financial support.
Strategy 3: Balance Work and Family
Finding a balance between work and family life is key for single parents. More companies now understand the need for flexible work arrangements, such as working from home, part-time jobs, or flexible hours. It’s important to talk to your employer about your needs; many are willing to make adjustments to support you. Organizing your time, using technology to ease tasks, and making special time for your kids can help maintain a healthy balance.
Strategy 4: Take Care of Yourself
Often, single parents put their well-being on the back burner because of their commitments. But taking care of yourself is essential, not a luxury. Doing things that boost your physical, emotional, and mental health can refill your energy and make you a better parent. Whether it’s a hobby, exercise, or some quiet time, self-care helps you stay strong and happy, which is great for your child too.
Strategy 5: Know Your Legal Rights
In India, single mothers have some special legal rights to help them and their children. Here’s a simple explanation of these rights:
1. Right to Privacy:
A single Mother has the right to keep the father’s name a secret if she chooses. This means if she doesn’t want to tell people who the father of her child is, she doesn’t have to. Case: ABC vs. State (NCT of Delhi)
2. Right to Use the Mother’s Surname:
The child can take the mother’s last name. This is important because it means the child can be officially recognized by the mother’s family name, which can be a big help in schools and other places where a family name is needed. Case: Vindhya Saxena v East Delhi Municipal Corporation
3. Right to Guardianship:
This right means that a single Mother/Father can be the legal guardian of their child. Being a guardian means they can make important decisions about their child’s life, like where they go to school or what kind of medical care they receive, without needing permission from anyone else. The Guardianship and Wards Act, 1890, and The Hindu Minority and Guardianship Act, 1956
Putting Strategies into Action
Using these strategies involves patience, determination, and a proactive approach. Start by identifying your biggest challenges and then slowly integrate these strategies into your life, adjusting as needed. The goal is to not only face challenges but to also create a fulfilling life for you and your child as a single parent in India.
Conclusion
Single parenting in India is a journey full of growth, love, and fulfilment. By embracing these strategies, single parents can navigate their unique circumstances with confidence. It’s about building a happy and resilient family life, one step at a time. Remember, you are the unsung hero in your child’s life, and within you lies the strength to overcome any obstacle.
